First of all…family or conservative friends of mine who are reading this post….please stop. =) I am pissed about what I am about to write about, and my language will be completely out of control. Just a warning. I would try to harness it, but the situation and person I’m going to be writing about can only be described appropriately in terms that are not so PG. Just warning you…..if you keep reading, no judging and I don’t want to hear about it! LOL
I really don’t have any idea where to start with this post (it will be a novel, no doubt) since there is so much I want to address, so I guess I’ll just start at the very beginning. One of the things I love so much about my DH Chris is that he has a lot of amazing guy friends. There are a couple of guys that I’ve met through Chris that are now two of my best friends…I love them so much! The one that plays a key role in this mini-drama shall be called “Romeo.”
So Romeo was in town (he was living on a coast at the time) visiting (I think it was September?) family and friends, and he sat me down to tell me about this girl in his life, Momma Ho (MH for short). He told me I might remember her..that she use to date one of his friends….and I DID remember her! I remembered that she was cute…and I remember her telling everyone that she could pee standing up. That’s honestly all I remembered. I didn’t have an opinion on her at all at that point. Anyway, Romeo tells me that they have been talking for a long time and that it’s become more than just friends and that he’s in love with her….that she’s the one. I had never seen him like this before, so I knew it was serious. I was elated….Romeo is amazing, caring and giving and he deserves the best. I start asking questions about her and I’m told:
- She was married a few years
- She divorced and quickly got remarried
- She is currently married
- At some point she had two kids
- She is currently STILL LIVING with her husband, but wants to leave him
I didn’t say much at first. Red flags were shooting up everywhere….and loud sirens….and warning signs….and flashing lights saying RUN RUN RUN. I wanted to tell Romeo to run, but I didn’t. I looked at him and told him to be careful. To go slow, because a 30-year-old girl on her second failed marriage may not know exactly what she’s looking for or needing. I knew he was already in it to win it, so I didn’t want to push him away…but I was scared for him. I mean come on, you hear about cheating people ALL the time telling the person they are cheating with that their marriage is over and that they are leaving their spouse and they never do. You see people ALL the time that may actually want to leave but need a way out and someone to lean on. You see people ALL the time who are codependent and just move right from one guy/gal to the next, lining them up prior to ending their relationships. This MH had all the red flags surrounding her, but he loved her….so I supported him.
Shortly after this, Romeo quit his job on the coast and moved back to AR to be close to Momma Ho. He’s got a great career, so this was a bad move professionally…but he didn’t care. He would choose a family/wife over a job any day, and that’s what he thought he was doing. He was moving to start his future. This girl was promising him a baby…a family…a future….so it wasn’t a hard decision for him to make. Around this time, Momma Ho actually did leave her husband and move into a rental. This made me happy..made me feel like maybe her heart was in the right place after all. I was leery, but just because I was concerned for my friend’s heart. I’d like to note, for the record, that at this point I NEVER asked about her past marriages. I never told Romeo not to date her. I never said a bad word about her or her situation.
In November or December I told Romeo that I really wanted to meet MH. I wanted to see how they interacted…see if she seemed legit…maybe make sure she understood how ‘deep’ Romeo was into this situation and ensure that her intentions were good. So we met up for drinks one night, and it was fun. I thought she was very sweet and Romeo/MH were very enamored with each other. It seemed genuine and I left feeling a sense of relief. At this point or shortly after I planned a dinner/sleepover at my house for all of us so that we could get to know each other better. I’d like to point out that this was WAYYYYYYY out of my comfort zone! MH was married. I know they weren’t living together, but to me marriage is marriage and I respect that. So anyway…I went out of my comfort zone on this to try to make an effort. Anyway, I can’t remember what happened (maybe someone was sick or something), but it never happened. The only other time I saw MH was at a show at George’s…and we had a good time. I got way drunk and don’t remember our conversations or anything, but it seemed all positive to me. At this point I’m happy for my friend. I’m still slightly concerned, but not a whole bunch. Everything really started going downhill quickly after that it seems.
First thing that made me question things was the fact that she NEVER mentioned Romeo in her blog. She blogged about everything….but not the guy she was in love with? Hmmmm. Second thing that really rubbed me the wrong way was when I found out that Romeo was living in an empty apartment…sleeping on a fucking air mattress. It didn’t make sense to me! He had a fully furnished apartment last time I visited him, so where was all of his stuff? I’ll give you one guess. Yup, Momma Ho had it all in her new rental. When I say she had it all, she had it ALL. She has his king sized bed set, tables, lamps, etc for the bedroom. She has his television, playstation 3 and other electronics. She has his couch…his loveseat…a rug he bought….EVERYTHING! This pissed me off. I mean come on, taking someone’s BED while he sleeps at home on an air mattress? My god. It’s one thing if someone has some extra stuff that they are not using and maybe you take that….but to take while they go without? It’s selfish. It’s TAKING ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE’S KINDNESS! I don’t care if they tell you they want you to take it…I don’t care if they somewhat insist….you just don’t do it. You have a choice, and you make the right choice. When I broke up with an ex years and years and years ago, he sent me letters…he sent me gifts (very nice gifts)…he sent me gift cards…..and you know what? I wanted that stuff…I wanted it all…but I sent it all back to him. Because it’s the right thing to do. So yes, the fact that she was sleeping in his bed and laying on his couch every single day while he was at home on an air mattress REALLY pissed me off. But…I kept my mouth shut. It wasn’t my business.
Over the next while we don’t see Romeo much….he’s solely focused on MH, and that’s ok. That happens in new relationships..I get it. He spoils MH to no end during this time….buying her a laptop for Christmas….paying for shopping sprees when she ‘forgets her credit card’….loaning her $1,500 when her ‘checkbook gets stolen from her desk at work’…paying for her daughter’s b-day party/presents because she didn’t have time/money to do so….paying not only MH’s cell phone bill, but also both kids’ bills….and who knows how many nights out/dinners/shoes/etc etc.
Fast-forward a bit, and Romeo tells me that he and MH are on a ‘break,’ and that she ‘needs space.’ He’s under the impression that they will work it out…but my gut told me they wouldn’t. I supported him….told him I was sorry and that we were here for him….asked him if he needed anything….and that was it. His heart was broken and he was trying to keep it together. My heart broke FOR him. Later that night he texts me and tells me that he got MH a Dyson vacuum cleaner for her bday (like a $500 vacuum) and can’t wait to give it to her. It made me sad. Sad, because I knew she’d accept it (since she’d be so selfish and had taken advantage of his selflessness for so long already….and she DID accept it), and sad because I think maybe he thought it would somehow help his situation. Who knows. Either way, it really upset me. I didn’t say that to him, but I felt it.
I’m on lots of medication, and some of it really makes me emotional. That…coupled with the above situation and some other similar situations in friends’ lives made me have a rough night one night. I stayed up for hours thinking about my guy friends and how they deserve more. I was sad….and then I got pissed. The next day I posted a blog about my feelings: http://hottingerhouse.blogspot.com/2012/03/b-is-for-bawling.html. In the blog I referred to Romeo and by saying “I have one (guy friend) who is such a lover that he gets taken advantage of but can’t change it because that’s just who he is.” I didn’t say another word about him…I didn’t give his name…I didn’t say anything about MH….this was it. I didn’t think anything about it, honestly. Well…Momma Ho was reading my blog and she had a lot to say about it. Somehow (probably guilt) she assumed that what I wrote above was about Romeo. Well, she was right. If the shoe fits, wear it….right? Well…she blew up at Romeo and sent him several texts, including:
Can someone say MANIPULATION? Seriously. And, of course, she defriended me on FB immediately, which cracked me up. But honestly….she immediately goes into me ‘always’ judging her..hating her…never thinking she’s good enough. I have no idea where she had gotten this idea! I was nice..I went out of my way to make her comfortable and be supportive to Romeo…she is a nut job. Romeo immediately started texted and calling me, all up in arms. He was very upset with me and told me that I ruined his chances of getting back with Momma Ho. I stood my ground in that it was MY blog and I could blog about MY feelings and that whatever I had to say had nothing to do with his relationship…it was about my feelings. We ended up agreeing to disagree on it all and I think it was pretty hard on both of us. I didn’t post that blog to be hateful or in hopes of someone reading it and trying to figure out who was who and get upset about it…I posted that blog about what I’d been going through. Anyway…after seeing her reaction to this and the way she manipulated Romeo out of it, I was done. I no longer supported him trying..I no longer gave her the benefit of the doubt….and I no longer kept my mouth shut.
Around the same time as I posted my blog, I posted something on facebook about another guy friend of mine who had gotten left stranded on vacation from his then-girlfriend. I don’t remember my exact wording, but it was something like “I hate it when good guys get screwed” or something. That day, a friend of mine private messaged me and said “hey, are you talking about Romeo? Because that Momma Ho is shady whore”…or something to that extent. We then talked, and the friend told me that Momma Ho had a ‘known history’ around town…and that on Valentine’s Day she received at least THREE bouquets of flowers from different guys. It made me sick. I knew there had to be something to her already having two divorces! There are always two sides to every story, that’s for sure. Anyway…I can’t say that I was surprised.
Shortly after this, stuff REALLY started to come out through the grapevine. Ends up, Momma Ho has been talking to at least one other guy since Winter. They are now together, for the record, and she’s looking to move near him around Conway I heard. What does this mean? This means, that on V-Day when she sent the below message to Romeo, she probably sent something similar to other dude..
This means, that while she was sending texts like the below in February, March, April and May, she was completely being a lying, manipulating ho-bag:
Did you notice the manipulation in there? The I miss you and am thinking about you….oh, and I need EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS or I’m going to jail and losing my kids? Someone who says this to man still in love with her…in love with her children…and in love with helping others knows exactly what she is doing. Fucking bitch. By the way…did I mention why she needed so much money? Well, she lost a son years ago (with her second hubby) and they started a foundation for him. Long story short, the board has proof that she STOLE AND SPENT thousands upon thousands of money out of his foundation for her personal use. It’s sickening…and I hope she has to serve time for it.
Romeo found out about the lying and cheating, and it helped him get passed his situation. It hurt, but at this point I think he’s probably happy that he dodged that bullet. This girl is EXACTLY the type of girl who will get knocked up to keep someone or to get someone trapped. To her new boyfried..I hope you being safe! I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised to hear that she’s pregnant in the next 3-4 months! For now, I heard she had to move her and her kids into HER MOM’S HOUSE….bet she sure is missing Romeo paying for all of her stuff now!
So..Momma Ho…fuck you for toying around with my friend and his life. Fuck you for making him doubt me, my character and my intentions. I was supportive to him and to you…but you probably didn’t notice I was supportive because I wasn’t writing you a check or giving you cash (your obviously preferred support). Do you even realize what a TERRIBLE role-model you are being for your kids? Let’s see…you were dating Romeo before you left your hubby (and your kids were around both)…you were dating ‘new guy’ before you left Romeo and your kids were around both….you are showing them that they need a man in their live to survive, that it can’t be done on their own….it’s pitaful! I feel so sorry for them. You are the most selfish person I have ever met.
To new guy…if you need proof that you were both dating Momma Ho at the same time, there are pages upon pages of it that I’d be happy to provide. Things that show that while she was with you, she was texting or calling Romeo. Right after you two talked on the phone for 5 minutes, she texted Romeo to have him come over. Right after you talked for a minute, they talked for an hour. If you know and don’t care, that’s your choice..you may just want to keep an eye on this chick, because she never goes long without a dick in a jar as backup.
That’s all I had to say. =) I’ve wanted to vent about this for a long time, but I needed to wait until my friend got his stuff back from crazy-ass so that she didn’t ruin it all. Whore.
Note- the “Momma was a Ho”…does anyone know what this is from? The Chronic 2000 cd! Momma was a Ho…she was weekend pussy…she had you to keep a nigga…it didn’t work out… that’s why he ain’t here. It was too perfect. =)