Not what I hoped for, but not surprising. I’m getting use to it. It sucks, that is all there is to it. I’ve spent many many months trying not to get excited when it came time to test, but this month I just couldn’t help it. To say this one hurt just a little bit more is an understatement. I lost it, privately, the day I took the test. Then again the next day when I took another test. I’ve tried to be strong and look at the upside, but it doesn’t always work. I’ve tried to stay busy, and that’s helping. I went to Wal-Mart the other day (day after the first test) at night, and I was that crazy lady staring at all of the babies there. I loaded up the car afterwards and just sat there, crying. Then I ignored my husband when I got home and showered and went to bed so that I wouldn’t lose it in front of him too. He’s been so strong…and none of this is his fault…so it’s been hard not to just be a basket-case in front of him. I think I’ve probably been a little ‘testy’ though. A few people have asked me about it…and mostly I kept it together, although once or twice I couldn’t talk about it.
So that is that. I talked to the Doc, and he has told me to get off of all of my medications (except for the Metformin) for now and we’ll talk about next steps in my appointment this Friday, the 22nd. He told me that he has seen a lot of success with people who have been on different meds and then break and then start again…somehow it jump starts them? I dunno…but I’ll go with whatever he says. I really like Dr Pappas, and I’ll stay with him for at least another 3-4 months before I start looking for a specialist (unless he tells me to earlier). So…we’ll see what he says on Friday and I’ll update everyone again then.
Thanks for checking in/caring/praying/etc…I appreciate it!