IUI #3- failure. BFN. AF didn’t even wait for me to stop my progesterone this month….which could be a problem in itself I suppose. Anyway….fuck. What am I going to do? Well…today I am going to go tanning. Yup. I know it’s terrible for me….I know I shouldn’t….but I think getting a little base before my vacation will make me happy, dammit. I am so so so pasty right now because I gave up tanning a long time ago AND I didn’t get ANY tan this summer because it was simply to damn hot to be outside. Besides tanning…and LOTS of drinking on vacation….we’re taking a break in January from TTC. Sure, we’ll try ‘naturally,’ but I doubt I even get a chance to try since I probably won’t ovulate without any meds. I need the break…for sanity.
I’m so tired. This is ‘thing’ lately with me….I never feel like I get enough sleep….I never feel rested. It’s really annoying. And it makes me grumpy. I can’t control my emotions very well when I’m really tired either, so that’s fun. Poor hubby. He handles everything so well. I don’t know how he does it. Makes me jealous…and proud…and sad.
I think I’ll start researching infertility specialists now and plan on going to my first consultation in February. It’s time…I know it is. Dr. P is amazing, but I just don’t know what else he can really do at this point. I don’t even KNOW where the closest fertility clinic is to NW AR…maybe Tulsa? LR? Dallas? Guess we shall see….was hoping I wouldn’t be faced with this. I don’t even want to think about it right now, really.
Anyway, that’s my update. Happy freakin’ holidays, people.